I’ve been trying to do it right, ..but I’ve been living a lonely life

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=ceYtOlmImNE&NR=1 -Lennon and Maisy

…”I could write a sonnnggg….” (but I won’t)

Why is society trying to cram me into a box?

“You need to be married”

“You need to date”

“You need a boyfriend”

To quote Jane Austen, ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.’

These days it’s so hard to be content and so extremely easy to be lonely. From the TV shows and movies we watch today, to books like Pride and Prejudice written in the 1800′s, to media published even before then – all of these outlets rave over the hottest topic – love. Love is like the new shirt you bought because it’s in this season. It’s like the hashtags you post because they’re so popular. Love is something that everyone understands. If you’ve ever been in love, or are tangled in it right now – if at some point you’ve woven a web and experienced its dismal, exuberant, and -to quote Mr. Darcy – “ardent” qualities, you can officially relate to Much Music’s top 20 song lists and the latest romance movies. As a matter of fact, the media bets on the fact that you tangle yourself in love affairs, because if you’re not crossed in love from time to time, no one would write songs about funny feelings inside, hiding emotions, and treacherous breakups.

The romance section in your library is written for you. There are people whose lives depend on the pull of your heart strings.

So then, what is my point in mentioning the media’s involvement in your love life? My point is that everywhere you go (and I mean everywhere) people are trying to convince you that if you satisfy your love fix you’ll be content. And, in contrast to this, if you don’t let your emotions get overrun with thoughts of a boy or your so-called future husband, you will never be happy. Why else would there be running jokes about “spinsters” and “cougars”? Everyone wants love, and if you don’t got it, you’ve got nothing. Happiness is based the love shared between you and the opposite sex… or your out-of-control imagination.

And while there is nothing wrong with being attracted to a person or their qualities, often we try to pursue what we cannot have – and when we don’t get what we want we get depressed, overthink it, and distort the situation to a place where it had never even gone. When you find yourself constantly consumed by thoughts of another person, Maybe you’re taking it a little too far. Especially when you perceive every action they make as a hint to a relationship that was never conceived in the first place.

What I am trying to say is, if a boy (man) does not make any advances at you, maybe you should let it be. If they aren’t going to make that expression of feelings, well then.. girls: It is over for you. You should not be taking the first step.

So, naturally, if we don’t take the first step, we allow ourselves to overthink it and (as I said) get depressed.

..And that’s where I’ve gone wrong many times. It’s illogical to get caught up in a trance of what might have been. Fact is: It didn’t happen. So get over it and move on.

I cannot help  but post a comment that I read on a blog about marriage. In response to the author:

“Louisa says:

I just DIED laughing. I was SO that girl, writing horrible high-school-literary-magazine bad poetry and revolting, teenage-hormone-induced love letters to my “future husband” in my leather notebook. Don’t you wish you could go back and tell yourself to stop wasting your time BROODING”

And that’s precisely it – stop brooding! There is not someone out there for you who is your forever-planned “soul-mate”.

“…Marriage [or relationships] are not based on a set of choices over which I [have] no control. It is based on a daily choice to love [someone], this [person] that I [will] cho0se out of many people that I could have chosen to love (in theory, don’t imagine that many others [are]  lined up and knocking at the door). He [will not be] some elusive soul mate, not some divine fullfulment, not some perfect step on the rigorously laid out but of so secret “Plan for My Life.”

“Someday I hope to have daughters and sons. I am going to pray for their futures everyday, and I will pray for who they might marry, but also what job they will have, who their friends will be, and most of all, that they delight in becoming more like Christ. But when my daughters come home starry-eyed from camp announcing that they can’t wait till the day they meet the man God has for them, I will probably pop their bubble and remind them that God doesn’t have a husband stored away somewhere for them.”

Love is not the only thing there is. And your focus doesn’t need to be set on that one person you may eventually meet who will be your spouse.

So get out there. Pursue your goals. Stop fretting about something that hasn’t happened yet.

Lindsey “I can’t drive” Woodcox

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